Fictional Football Roster

Jamie Foxx, left, and Al Pacino in a scene from the film Any Given Sunday --- DATE TAKEN: 1999 By Robert Zuckerman Warner Bros. , Source: Warner Bros. HO - handout ORG XMIT: PX7810

***Update***
This roster is now available for download on Madden 18 for PS4 (under the Seattle Seahawks franchise).
PSNID: Bkkoach
Filename: Fictionalteam

So I have been creating these rosters for a while now and I’m always sharing them with my friends to get their opinions. Well the other day my buddy Jason threw out the idea that I should do a 53-man roster of fictional football players. I immediately thought this was a great idea (and after a quick google search it looks like a lot of other people have as well). So I decided to take this roster one step further and put together an entire organization, complete with a 53-man active roster, practice squad, full coaching staff, equipment manager, owner, GM, and even a mascot. So here is my take on a fictional football organization.

The Criteria

Here are the 2 things we set as rules for our selections:

  • No biopics – The spirit of this roster is fictional characters, so we decided to exclude biopics (like Rudy, Blindside, Invincible, etc), but allow movies based on real teams (i.e. Remember the Titans)
  • Level playing field – It doesn’t matter if the team/player is playing little league or in the pros, we are assuming a level playing field when it comes to talent.

The Offense

Quarterbacks

QBs
Willie BeamanShane FalcoJohnny Utah
Miami SharksWashington SentinelsOhio State Buckeyes
Jamie FoxxKeanu ReevesKeanu Reeves
Any Given SundayThe ReplacementsPoint Break

We had so many choices when it came to the quarterback position. Obviously, being the most high profile position on the field, QB is often one of the feature characters or a part of a main character’s background. We start our QBs off with a true franchise quarterback, Miami Sharks’ Willie Beaman. His athleticism and ability to improvise make him a great option to start for this high powered offense. Backing him up will be a pair of lefties from Ohio State. We start with the Washington Sentinels replacement QB, Shane Falco. Falco is best known for throwing 5 interceptions in his final game at Ohio St, losing in the Sugar Bowl and earning him the nickname “Footsteps.” And while his first stint in the pros is more reminiscent of Ryan Leaf, his second go around with the Sentinels has proved he stills has what it takes to be a starting QB. He will look to earn that behind Beaman. Our second Buckeye is Johnny Utah. Unlike Falco, Utah won his big match-up, wining the Rose Bowl; however he suffered a gruesome knee injury in the game when his knee folded back about 90 degrees the wrong way. Utah takes the 3rd spot on the roster as he looks to come back to form from the injury. One man that tried out for the position that just missed the cuts is Uncle Rico. Rico’s performance just couldn’t stand up to the reputation he had garnered as a high school standout.

Running Backs

RBs
Earl MeggetJulian WashingtonSmash Williams
Mean MachineMiami SharksDillon Panthers
NellyLL Cool JGaius Charles
The Longest YardAny Given SundayFriday Night Lights (tv)
Walter CochranBilly ColeGuard Dunham (FB)
Washington SentinelsL.A. StallionsAllenville Guards
Troy Winbush Billy BlanksSteve Austin
The ReplacementsThe Last Boy ScoutThe Longest Yard

Like with QB, we were stock piled with great selections at running back. We start with the lead back for the prison team, Mean Machine, Earl Megget. Megget showed a quick first step, ability to make that one cut in the hole, and quickness to burst down the field that would make him an excellent starting running back. Coming in as the change of pace back, and thunder to Megget’s lighting, is Beaman’s teammate in Miami, Julian Washington. At 6’3″ 215, Washington would be a bruising combination with Megget in the backfield. He would handle most of the goal line and short yardage carries for the team. Next will be our third down back, seeing most of his action as a pass catcher, Dillon Panthers’ Smash Williams. Williams raw talent and explosiveness could eventually develop into starting caliber, but for now, that talent will be used in open space as the teams third down back. Rounding out the running backs will be Falco’s teammate in Washington, Walter Cochran. Cochran will bring a mature presence to the locker room and will provide vital help on special teams. His weak knees are a concern for the long haul, but his locker room presence and leadership ability made him an obvious choice for a spot on the roster. Starting at fullback for this roster will be star running back form the Allenville Guards, Guard Dunham. Bottom line is Dunham is a stunning ball carrier, a la Larry Csonka, but can also handle his own as a lead blocker.

Wide Receivers

WRs
Rod TidwellDeacon MossClifford Franklin
Arizona CardinalsMean MachineWashington Sentinels
Cuba Gooding JrMichael IrvinOrlando Jones
Jerry MaguireThe Longest YardThe Replacements
Phil ElliottRashid "Hot Hands" HanonCharlie Tweeder
North Dallas BullsUrbania Little GiantsWest Canaan Coyotes
Nick NolteTroy SimmonsScott Caan
North Dallas FortyLittle GiantsVarsity Blues

Starting off the wide receivers, we have the Arizona Cardinals’ standout Rod Tidwell. Tidwell was a fourth-round pick out of ASU, but has put up monster numbers for the Cardinals. In 1995, Tidwell gathered in a Cardinals’ record 110 catches for 1,550 yards. He would look to be the main focus of this high powered offense, if we can keep his ego in check. Starting opposite him will be the Mean Machine’s Deacon Moss. Moss is filled with raw talent and could see great 1-on-1 opportunities opposite Tidwell. In the slot, we have the Sentinels’ Clifford Franklin. Franklin will be the teams’ burner from the slot, with the hopes of him catching 1 out of 3 a la the Texans Will Fuller. If he improves his hands, he could look to make a Kurt Warner like comeback and go from the grocery store to Canton. Rounding out the wide receivers are a couple of young guys and a crafty veteran. We start with Rashid “Hot Hands” Hanon. Like Franklin, Hot Hands has the speed and route running ability, but needs to improve his ability to catch. The other youngster is the Coyotes’ Charlie Tweeder. Tweeder has the biggest personality of the bunch and will be a standout performer on special teams. Last is our crafty veteran, from the North Dallas Bulls, Phil Elliott. Elliott will provide leadership for the young players, and be the guy Beaman can always count on in third down situations to make the tough catch over the middle.

Tight Ends

TEs
Brian MurphyCheeseburger Eddy
Washington SentinelsMean Machine
David Denman Terry Crews
The RepacementsThe Longest Yard

We had a small group to choose from for the tight end position, but there was an obvious first choice. The Sentinels’ Brian Murphy would have been a 1st-round pick if it wasn’t for the fact he was born deaf. That didn’t stop him from making a huge contribution for the Sentinels, catching the deep, game-winning catch against Dallas to send Washington into the playoffs. Murphy will provide the big, over-the-middle presences this offense needs to succeed in the passing game. Playing behind him, and serving as the teams only other true tight end, will be the Mean Machine’s Cheeseburger Eddy. Eddy provides the size this offense needs to go into heavy/jumbo sets, and could be a big target in the red zone. He will also look to make big contributions on special teams, given his ability to play both ways for the Mean Machine.

Offensive Line

OL
T Bud KaminskiT Louie LastikG Jamal Jackson
ESU TimberwolvesTC Williams TitansWashington Sentinels
Abraham BenrubiEthan SupleeFaizon Love
The ProgramRemember the TitansThe Replacements
G Andre JacksonC ManumanaT Jumbo Fumiko
Washington SentinelsTexas State ArmadillosWashington Sentinels
Michael TaliferroPeter TuiasosopoAce Yonamine
The ReplacementsNecessary RoughnessThe Replacements
G Billy BobG Rudy ZolteckC Cam Tucker
West Canaan CoyotesUrbania Little GiantsIllinois Fighting Illini
Ron LesterMichael ZwienerEric Stonestreet
Varsity BluesLittle GiantsModern Family

We had lots of great big men to choose from for this roster, big being the operative word. We begin with our starting left tackle, Bud Kaminski. Kaminski is the sure bet of the offensive line, with size, experience, and the ability to stay on the field. Starting opposite him will be our big, bruising run blocker, Louise Lastik. Lastik has the size to overpower any defensive lineman, but also has experience playing in a split-veer offense, which involves a lot of climbing to the second level and blocking in open space. Starting at guards we have brothers from the Washington Sentinels, Jamal and Andre Jackson. These guys excel when starting on the same line and will look to bring that same chemistry starting on this line. Rounding out the starting bunch is Manumana. He has the size and toughness to anchor this offensive line, and can provide the stamina needed for this big group, having played both sides of the ball for the Texas St Armadillos. Backing up the tackle position will be the Jacksons’ teammate in Washington, Jumbo Fumiko. Fumiko’s sumo background gives him great raw talent on the o-line, and he’s got the size to develop into a great player. Backing up the Jacksons at guard will be a pair of big men, the Coyote’s Billy Bob and the Little Giants’ Rudy Zolteck. Both struggle with their conditioning, but possess the size and strength to fill in on the line when needed. And backing up at center will be former University of Illinois stand-out, Cam Tucker. Tucker’s coaching background will also provide some value in the film room and as a locker room leader for this big crew.

Offensive Scheme Breakdown

This offensive, at its most basic, will be a 2-back, power running team, but will open up to so much more. We will look to utilize Beaman’s ability to scramble and improvise to our advantage by utilizing multiple different RPOs and read option looks. We could even see a little triple option out of the pistol with Megget and Dunham. But at any time, this offense could open up 4-wide in the gun with Smash Williams in the back field and go no-huddle all the way down the field. This will be an explosive, high powered offense that can hit you over the top and slam it down your throat.

The Defense

Defensive Line

DL
Julius CampbellSwitowskiSteve Lattimer
TC Williams TitansMean MachineESU Timberwolves
Wood HarrisBob SappAndrew Bryniarski
Remember the TitansThe Longest YardThe Program
Ivory ChristianAndre KrimmCharles Jefferson
Permian PanthersTexas State ArmadillosRidgemont Wolves
Lee JacksonSinbadForest Whitaker
Friday Night Lights (m)Necessary RoughnessFast Times at Ridgemont High
Phillip Finch
Central High Wildcats
Tab Thacker
Wildcats

Unlike the offensive line, the defensive line was a smaller group to choose from, but I believe the talent at the top is much better. We start with out strong side defensive end, from the TC Williams Titans, Julius Campbell. Campbell was an All-American for TC Williams and would be the anchor of this impressive defensive front. Starting opposite him (with opposite being a key word here) is the Timberwolves’ Steve Lattimer. Lattimer is a crazy man that we would look to unleash on quarterbacks from the weak side end position. Hopefully we can keep him clean and on the field. Rounding out our starting 3-man front will be the Mean Machine’s Switowski. Switowski has all the size in the world to excel at the nose tackle position, but he will need to tap into his mean side to reach his full potential. Backing up the outside, we have, from the Permian Panthers, Ivory Christian, and from the Ridgemont Wolves, Charles Jefferson. Both will be utilized in pass rushing packages, with Jefferson having the ability to play in space as a former linebacker for the Wolves. Backing up the inside, and playing in jumbo packages, are the Armadillos’ Andre Krimm and the Wildcats’ Phillip Finch. Krimm will see more time as a fill in for all positions on the front, with Finch being used sparingly as a run stopper.

Linebackers

LBs
Luther "Shark" LavayAlvin MackGerry Bertier
Miami SharksESU TimberwolvesTC Williams Titans
Lawrence TaylorDuane DavisRyan Hurst
Any Given SundayThe ProgramRemember the Titans
Vontae MackJoey BattagiloTerry Tate
Ohio St BuckeyesMean MachineOffice
Chadwick BosemanBill GoldbergLester Speight
Draft DayThe Longest YardReebok Commercials
Bobby BoucherSpencer StrasmoreBecky "Icebox" O'Shea
South Central Louisiana St Mud DogsMiami DolphinsUrbania Little Giants
Adam SandlerDwayne JohnsonShawna Waldron
WaterboyBallersLittle Giants

This is the group, on the defensive side of the ball, with far and away the most talent. We start on the inside of this 3-4 defense with the captain of this defense, Miami Sharks’ Luther “Shark” Lavay. Shark changed the game at the linebacker position and will captain the defense from the Will linebacker position, freeing him up for some creative blitzes as well as providing run support. Starting next to him at the Mike linebacker is the Timberwolves’ Alvin Mack. Mack is a student of the game and will be able to make adjustments on the fly and read what the offense is doing. Both linebackers are fierce competitors and leaders, and will be very vocal on the field. Moving to the outside, we have our starting Sam backer, Titans’ Gerry Bertier. Bertier, an exceptional leader in his own right, captained the Titans defense to a 13-0 record, including 9 shutouts, and posted an astounding 42 sacks on his way to being named an All-American. Rounding out our starting linebacker core at the Jack backer will be our pass rushing specialist from Ohio St, Vontae Mack. Mack was one of the elite pass rushers in the country for the Buckeyes, enough to be selected 1st overall in the NFL draft. Backing up the inside will be a couple of bruising, big hitters; the Mean Machine’s Joey “Battle” Battagilo and the Office Linebacker, Terry Tate. Backing up the outside, we start with our veteran presence and primary backup for the outside, former Miami Dolphin, Spencer Strasmore. Strasmore holds both the single season and career franchise sack records for the dolphins, but some would say he’s lost a step. This is why he will be a great addition as a primary backup and pass rushing specialist, a la James Harrison in Pittsburgh. Our other pass rushing specialist is the Mud Dogs’ Bobby Boucher. Bobby has a ton of energy and raw talent, but will need work studying the game; playing behind guys like Bertier, Lavay, Mack, and Strasmore will help. We finish out the linebackers with the “Icebox” Becky O’Shea. O’Shea will be primarily a special teams contributor, but can also provide assistance in the run game when her number is called.

Cornerbacks

CBs
Earl WilkinsonStefen DjordjevicAlan Bosley
Washington SentinelsAmpipe BulldogsTC Williams Titans
Michael JaceTom CruiseRyan Gosling
The ReplacementsAll the Right MovesRemember the Titans
Trumaine
Central High Wildcats
Wesley Snipes
Wildcats

We start our DBs out with the scariest player on the defensive side of the ball, Earl Wilkinson aka Ray Smith. Wilkinson is the definition of a shutdown corner, the only problem will be keeping him out of legal trouble. He will also server as the teams primary punt returner and be the second man back on kickoffs. Starting opposite him will be the our only Ampipe Bulldog of the roster, Stef Djordjevic. Stef may be difficult to coach, but has the raw talent to compete against the best. Playing in the slot for this roster is the Titans’ Alan Bosley. Bosley doesn’t have the raw talent of some of the others on this roster, but what he lacks in talent, he makes up for in heart and determination. He will get beat deep on some plays, but will look to have his presence known in underneath, zone coverage. Rounding out the corners is the Wilcats’ Trumaine. Trumaine is the opposite of Bosley, he has all the raw talent, but doesn’t take direction well and can be overaggressive. This will however make him a great special teams contributor.

Safeties

Ss
Petey JonesBrian ChavezSpike Hammersmith
TC Williams TitansPermian PanthersUrbania Cowboys
Donald FaisonJay HernandezSam Horrigan
Remember the TitansFriday Night Lights (m)Little Giants
Torres
Mean Machine
Lobo Sebastian
The Longest Yard

Rounding out the last defensive group is the safeties, and we start with our free safety from the TC Williams Titans, Petey Jones. Jones is a former running back, but after some fumbling issues, made the conversion to the defensive side of the ball. His ability to cover ground quickly and read an offense made him at natural at the free safety position. Starting next to him at the strong safety is the Panthers’ Brian Chavez. Chavez will be the leader of the secondary. His football IQ and study in the film room, combined with his athleticism, makes him a great safety both in and out of the box. Backing up Chavez at the SS will be the Cowboys’ Spike Hammersmith. Hammersmith is another young, raw talent, but shows great physical play on the field; he isn’t afraid to take or deliver a hit. This will serve him well on special teams. We finish up the safeties with the Mean Machine’s Torres. Like Hammersmith, Torres has a mean streak. He also has the quickness and athleticism to cover a lot of ground suddenly and the hands to make plays when needed. This will make him valuable in dime packages and on special teams.

Defensive Scheme Breakdown

The defense will use a two-gap 3-4 base defense, but utilize a lot of hybrid fronts. With multiple linebackers that can excel rushing the passer, and having a true shutdown corner, we would use multiple blitz/zone blitz packages. The defense lacks depth in the secondary, but hopefully the strong pass rush can cover up any short falls on the back end.

Specialists

STs
K Nigel GruffP Lucy van PeltKR Forrest Gump
Washington SentinelsBirchwood Elementary Alabama Crimson Tide
Rhys IfansMichelle MullerTom Hanks
The ReplacementsIt's Your First Kiss, Charlie BrownForredt Gump

We had a few solid choices for kicker of this fictional roster, but to me there was one clear choice, the Sentinels Nigel Gruff. Known as “The Leg,” Gruff is a former Welsh soccer player and can kick the ball a mile. He may have some off the field issues, but if he can stay focused, he could be a real weapon for this team. Then we move to the most difficult position to fill, the punter. There are not really any fictional punters that stand out (though I have seen some people put the Mud Dogs’ Derek Wallace in this spot, allow he’s not specifically their punter), so I decided to go with one of the most recognizable holders in history, Lucy van Pelt. Lucy has held for many kicks at Birchwood Elementary, and though she has a reputation for screwing with their kicker, Charlie Brown, I believe Gruff and Special Teams Coach Norton can keep her in line. Lastly we come to the teams primary kick returner, and all around burner, Forrest Gump. Gump doesn’t really have the skill set to contribute as a running back or wide receiver, but when he has the ball in his hands, he can fly. Wilkinson will be back to field the kicks, then hand them off to Gump and see how far he can get.

Coaches

Coaches
Tony D'AmatoNubieMontezuma Monroe
Head CoachOffensive CoordinatorDefensive Coordinator
Al PacinoMatthew McCurleyJim Brown
Any Given SundayLittle GiantsAny Given Sunday
Nick CrozierHerman BooneJimmy McGinty
QuarterbacksRunning BacksWide Receivers
Aaron EckhartDenzel WashingtonGene Hackman
Any Given SundayRemember the TitansThe Replacements
Paul "Doc" HinesSam WintersCoach Klien
Offensive LineDefensive LineLinebackers
Gregory Alan WilliamsJames CaanHenry Winkler
Remember the TitansThe ProgramWaterboy
Bill YoastCoach NortonSnowflake
Defensive BacksSpecial Teams CoordinatorMascot
Will PattonR. Lee ErmeyDolphin
Remember the TitansSaving SilvermanAce Ventura
Sonny Weaver JrChristina PagniacciDanny O'Shea
General ManagerOwnerEquipment Manager
Kevin CostnerCameron DiazRick Moranis
Draft DayAny Given SundayLittle Giants

One of the comments I got when starting this roster was good luck picking a coach. There are so many talented coaches, I decided to fill out a full coaching staff/organization. We’ll start at the top with team owner, Christina Pagiacci. Christina would be one of the youngest owners in the league, but would enjoy the lifestyle while leaving the decision up to her GM, Sonny Weaver Jr. Weaver did an excellent job navigating the 2014 draft for the Browns, including selecting this roster’s Vontae Mack with the #1 overall pick. The young owner and dealing GM need an experienced and hard nose head coach, and who better than Tony D’Amato.

D’Amato has the experience to develop the load of young, raw talent on this roster, and the leadership to command respect from the veterans. He can also give one hell of a pre-game speech. His offensive coordinator will be the Little Giants’ Nubie. Nubie has a knack for creative play calling and design, and has the pedigree, having been mentored by John Madden. Coaching the quarterbacks will be Beaman’s coach from the Sharks, Nick Crozier. Crozier has experience as a play caller and did a great job developing a raw Beaman into a franchise QB. Coaching the running backs will be the Titans’ Herman Boone. Boone has experience running the veer offense and can help provide vision to this athletic group of backs. Leading the wide receivers will be the Sentinels’ Jimmy McGinty. McGinty’s work with wide out Clifford Franklin shows how well can can take speed and athleticism and turn it into the complete package. Rounding out the offensive staff is o-line coach Paul “Doc” Hines. Hines was able to take a mismatch group of players for the Titans and bring them together to work as one.

Moving over to the defensive staff, we have defensive coordinator from the Sharks, Montezuma Monroe. Monroe provides experience and an attitude to an already stout defense. His staff includes defensive line coach, Sam Winters. Winters developed a great defense for the Timberwolves and was able to deal with some problem situations, which he is likely to see with this defensive front. Taking the reigns of the linebackers will be the Mud Dogs’ Coach Klien. Klien took a complete raw talent in Bobby Boucher and turned him into a premier pass rusher. He won’t need to do much with this talented crew but let them play. Lastly we have the Titans’ Bill Yoast coaching the secondary. Yoast was the coach to assist Petey Jones in his transition from running back to defensive back, and he’ll look to continue developing Jones here. Finally we have our special teams coach, Coach Norton. Norton has a crazy side to him, so expect the unexpected. We round everything out with the team’s mascot, the beloved dolphin, Snowflake.

Practice Squad

Practice Squad
QB Ronnie BassK Ray FinkleWR Air Bud
TC Williams TitansMiami DolphinsFernfield High
Kip PardueSean YoungDog
Remember the TitansAce VenturaAir Bud: Golden Receiver
LB Danny BatemanFB TurleyRB Darnell Jefferson
Washington SentinelsMean MachineESU Timberwolves
Jon FavreauDalip SinghOmar Epps
The ReplacementsThe Longest YardThe Program
WR Rickey JerretDL Anthony "Big Tony" CobiancoATH Junior Floyd
Green Bay PackersMean MachineUrbania Little Giants
John David WashingtonJoey DiazDevon Sawa
BallersThe Longest YardLittle Giants
LB Kevin "Thad" Devlin Castle
Blue Mountain St Mountain Goats
Alan Ritchson
Blue Mountain State

Since there was so much great talent to choose from for this roster, I decided to put together a 10 person practice squad. We start with TC Williams’ quarterback Ronnie Bass. Bass excelled filling in for then starting QB Rev Harris after an injury. He has the arm to play QB, but will look to develop the rest of his game as the scout team QB for this roster. Next is our backup kicker, former Miami Dolphin, Ray Finkle. Finkle is known best for missing the big kick in the Super Bowl, though some conspiracy theorists blame holder Dan Marino, but he will look to get his head straight and be ready when his number is called if Gruff goes down or gets caught gambling. Next up are our 2 WR prospects. Both undersized, though Air Bud is much undersized, but both possess great hands. Jarret could be on the starting roster, but his attitude and of-the-field shenanigans land him on the practice squad. Next is our most talented player on the practice squad, who just got beat out for the active roster, the Sentinels’ Danny Bateman. A former walk-on at Michigan St, Bateman has all the physical tools and leadership skills to be a starting Mike linebacker, but just needs to learn how to control his rage. Our other linebacker prospect is Blue Mountain St’s Thad Castle. Thad has all the physical tools to be successful on the highest level, but needs to show more maturity; hopefully he can gain that on the practice squad. Next is a couple of big men from the Mean Machine, FB Turley and DL Big Tony Cobianco. Turley is a physical specimen, but is very new to the game and needs time to develop. Big Tony needs to get in better shape to compete with the best. Lastly we have our wild card of the practice team, the Little Giants’ Junior Floyd. Floyd started at QB and DB for the Giants and showed the most athleticism on the team. This, combined with Floyd’s youth, makes him a raw athlete that the coaches will work to find the best use for.

The Starting 22

Offense
QBWillie Beaman
RBEarl Megget
FBGuard Dunham
XRod Tidwell
ZDeacon Moss
TEBrian Murphy
LTBud Kaminski
LGAndre Jackson
CManumana
RGJamal Jackson
RTLouie Lastik
Defense
DEJulius Campbell
NTSwitowski
DESteve Lattimer
SamGerry Bertier
MikeAlvin Mack
WillLuther Lavay
JackVontae Mack
CBEarl Wilkinson
CBStefen Djordjevic
SSBrian Chavez
FSPetey Jones

Breakdown

Movie# of Players or Coaches
Ace Ventura2
Air Bud1
All the Right Moves1
Any Given Sunday7
Ballers2
Blue Mountain State1
Draft Day2
Fast Times at Ridgemont High1
Forrest Gump1
Friday Night Lights (m)2
Friday Night Lights (t)1
Jerry Maguire1
The Last Boy Scout1
Little Giants7
The Longest Yard9
Modern Family1
Necessary Roughness2
North Dallas Fourty1
Peanuts1
Point Break1
The Program5
Reebok Commercials1
Remember the Titans9
The Replacements11
Saving Silverman1
Varsity Blues2
Waterboy2
Wildcats2

Multiple great sports movies and TV shows in this lineup. The Replacements takes the top spot with 11 players and coaches represented on the roster. Tied for second are The Longest Yard and Remember the Titans. All 3 of these movies focused on full teams, leaving multiple options for spots on the roster.